As you may (or may not) know, I am a licensed Desire Map Facilitator- what that means is that I have signed up with Danielle LaPorte to share and teach The Desire Map Process, but what I want to share with you today is why I decided to be a Licensed Facilitator.
I had known since at least 2013 that I’ve wanted to help people feel better in their lives. What I mean is that I had struggled with depression for years before that and contemplated suicide many times. I felt horrible (mentally and emotionally sick, like something was wrong with me, why was I even living, often couldn’t get out of bed, and just felt like shit inside).
One day (around 2008) I had had enough and I wanted to know why I felt the way I felt and how could I feel better. That’s when I started my “journey” (or I sometimes call it my “consciousness journey”).
I read the Desire Map back in 2014 and knew that it was a game changer, but unfortunately I did not begin doing the actual work of living my Core Desired Feelings. Instead I just went on doing what I always did.
In 2016, I was sitting on the bed just messing around on my phone when my husband walked in from work and said we needed to talk. I could tell by the look on his face it was serious. He opened his mouth and the words came out “I can’t do this anymore. I want to separate.”
My heart dropped.
See, we had been together for 18 years at that point. Our relationship moved quickly. After about 6 weeks he said he loved me. After another 4 weeks, we were getting out of the shower one day, and I looked into his face and KNEW. I hugged him tight and began to cry. He kneeled down in a bit of a panic because he didn’t know what was wrong. He sat me on his knee, as we were each wrapped in a towel, and asked what was going on. I looked up at him and said I LOVE YOU. It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life.
And now, here he is telling me he wants to separate. I knew we were both unhappy, but being the optimist that I am, I figured that things would eventually work themselves out just as long as we didn’t give up on each other.
Over the next few weeks I cried, begged, and pleaded for this to end.
I wanted things to go back to how they were. But I knew they couldn’t. It was never going to be the same. I finally had an honest realization- I really didn’t want things to be the same or go back how they were. We weren’t going through this because someone had cheated, or there were money problems. We simply did not feel good in our relationship, we were not happy. That was it. When that realization hit me I knew I was done feeling the way I had been feeling over the last few weeks. I grabbed my Desire Map book and did the work.
I personally wanted to feel good and love and happy and free. I knew my next relationship also had to feel this way- good, love, and happy. I was no longer going to settle. And I wanted whomever I ended up with to feel good within himself too.
Just after that, my husband and I started talking again. This time though, we wrote out our Core Desired Feelings for the relationship. And we used our CDFs as the foundation for our new relationship. When we would start getting in an argument or bothered by something, we would stop and ask “is this how we want to feel” and that simple question would bring us back to what was really important. We would either see that we were getting bothered by nothing or there was a real issue and we could address it. Our Core Desired Feeling always brought us to the heart of the matter. And we began feeling so much better in our relationship, with each other and within ourselves. It was magical.
I have since begun using my Core Desired Feelings in every area of my life. Knowing my Core Desired Feelings has helped guide me through everything in my life- death of loved ones, purchasing a new home and moving, and in my relationships (all of them). When something tough comes up or happens I tune into my heart and use my CDFs to get centered within myself. It doesn’t mean that I don’t feel scared, angry, or sad. It does mean that I am able to move through those emotions more deeply and quickly- I’m able really get to the heart of the matter and can move on.
When I wanted to have deeper relationships with my friends and some family members, I use my Core Desired Feelings to do that. One of my feelings is Love Light- so, in regards to closer and deeper relationships I would ask myself “how can I feel more Love Light in this relationship?” Sometimes this lead me to simply send a text asking how they were doing or some random funny meme. Other times it meant that I made a date with them to have drinks or hang out.
During the time my hubby and I were separated, I did lots of praying and meditating which brought visions of me hosting my own workshops. And, after the clarity and peace my Core Desired Feelings have brought into my life, I knew I HAD to share this work so that’s why I became a Licensed Facilitator.
If you haven’t already ready the book I highly recommend that you do. Or follow this blog or get on my email list because most of the exercises I share are based off of the Desire Map practices.
I wish you so much clarity and peace in your own life. Thank you for being here.
-Alisha AE
If you are interested in the book or getting the workbook, I am an affiliate for Danielle LaPorte products, here is my affiliate link