Ugh. The comparison trap. Whether it’s how I look, how my house/ home is, what kind of work I do and my business, or in my relationship- when I notice me comparing myself to others I seriously want to slap myself, lol.
I know we all do it to some degree. And I am getting better at not doing it, but it still happens from time to time, especially in my business. I look at others in my same space and to me it looks like they have it all together. I wonder how they did it and when I ask, they make it seem like it was so easy… “I was already working in the corporate world doing ABC, so I just incorporated XYZ work into that”.
Here’s the thing- that’s just the story I’m telling myself (that it was easy for them) and it may or may not be true, and in all honestly it doesn’t matter. What matters is that anytime we compare ourselves to others, we’re blurring our own inner magnificence and light that is calling out to be shared with the world.
When we are guided to learn something and take something in, it is so that we can share it with others in our own unique way. When we refuse to recognize this we are putting ourselves in a box of darkness and dimming our own light which can eventually lead to depression, anxiety, or melancholia. We are slowly causing ourselves to decompose into numbness and are left feeling lifeless.
I’ve been there. For far longer that I wanted and far longer than I liked. It’s not until we slow down, take a step back, so that we can tune into our own inner beauty that we will be able to stop the comparison game. It’s time to recognize you’re not meant to be like others- you’re meant to be yourself. This is where true healing takes place in all areas of life. As you begin to accept yourself you unleash all of your magnificence- your own style, creativity, and way of Being that is uniquely you.
This is why I love Human Design and I have begun incorporating it into my life and work, so let’s talk about the G-Center, aka the Identity Center, in regards to comparing ourselves to others.
Undefined and Open G Center and the Comparison Game
When you have an undefined G (meaning you have an active gate in the G Center but it is not a defined channel, so it does not connect to the other gate in another Center), you are less sure of who you are and can often get stuck in the comparison trap. When you have a totally open G (meaning you have no active gates at all in the G Center) then you fall into the trap of allowing others to define who you are.
What’s great about both undefined and open G Centers is that you are the perfect person to “try” out other ways of Being. You’re not fixed in your identity so you can be who ever you want. This is where the work of Abraham Hicks comes in- contrast, knowing what you don’t want to know what you do want. You try different identities out, by actually doing it yourself or by observing it in others, so that you can decide how you want to identify yourself which will be unlike anyone else because no one else will encounter the exact same people as you. As you settle into certain identities and stop comparing yourself, you un-condition yourself from others expectation of who you should be and become who you are.
Something to note about undefined G Centers, is that your environment is important. If you find yourself in a place that is uncomfortable you will transfer that feeling of uneasiness to the person who took you there. It’s because in addition to being our Identity Center, it is also our inner sense of direction. So if you end up in a place that is not for you, you will keenly sense that and can begin to feel lost or as if something “bad” is going to happen.
Defined G Center and the Comparison Game
When you have a Defined G Center, you’re more fixed in who you are and have more of a reliable sense of self, but can still be conditioned by others and society through your open gates (gates that are not active). It is through your open gates that you play the comparison game.
For example, as I mentioned earlier I currently find myself comparing myself to others when it comes to my business. I have an open gate 2, the gate of the Direction of Self. For me this shows up as trying to figure out what direction to take my business in, what is it I need to do. Our world today is about the masculine energy of doing and “taking charge”, but gate 2 is about fully embodying the feminine and being receptive. There is nothing to take charge of. Instead I must be open and allow, and hence I find myself comparing myself because “allowing” is not what I was conditioned to do. What allowing looks like for me is I get centered and meditate and/or use oracle cards to ask for guidance on what to do next. Or I may just not do anything until (as I follow my Strategy and Authority) I have something that is exciting for me to respond to.
When you have a defined Center, it can be helpful to recognize which gates are open because these are where you will be open to conditioning. And looking at your defined gates in a Center tell you where you are fixed and reliable in your ways of being (these can be your strengths).
Journaling
If you don’t already have your Human Design Chart you can get one for free by going to geneticmatrix.com or jovianarchive.com, in both cases you will need your date of birth, time of birth, and location of birth. I prefer Genetic Matrix because the general chart gives you more info such as your environment and sense but you can use which ever site you want- they are both free.
Once you have your chart, here are somethings to consider and to journal about…
Open and Undefined G Centers: For you contrast is important in the way of using it as tool to determine what is for you or not. So look at the people you hang around with the most and note what you like about who they are. Notice what you don’t like so much about who they are. These are not to be negative, but to simply use as a tool to decide what you want to take on for yourself. For example, a friend of yours is a mother and you admire the way she wants her kids to experience things in life. She takes them to go do activities every time the kids are out of school. But you may not like that when she is around her friends she ignores the kids and just sends them to their rooms to play. This isn’t a time for judgement, instead just look at it as that’s what works for her and pick out the parts you would want to take on yourself, as the type of mother you would be. For example, you would want to try being a mother who does activities without spoiling the kids (them have an expectation they are always going to go do stuff) and you would be attentive to the kids needs even when your friends are around.
Defined and Undefined G Centers: Look at your open gates and notice how comparison shows up through them.
Gates of the G Center
- Gate 1- Gate of Self Expression-Our place in the now; the capacity for creativity
- Gate 13- Gate of the Listener-Direction or directing by looking back; hearing other people’s secrets
- Gate 25- Gate of Direction of Self-Universal love, retaining innocence despite circumstances
- Gate 46- Gate of Determination of Self-Love of the body; determination to follow through
- Gate 2- Gate of the Direction of Self- Direction or vision; The director or driver
- Gate 15- Gate of Extremes-Love of humanity; embracing different rhythms and extremes of behavior
- Gate 10- Gate of the Behavior of Self-Love of the Self; the love of being oneself
If you want a more in-depth understanding of each of the Gates, check out Pintrest or just Google “Human Design Gate #” The whole point is to begin noticing where and how these tendencies show up in your life, then transmute any comparison by accepting yourself and your unique genius so that you can begin sharing that with others.
Wishing you so many blessings on your journey to self-discovery!