Whether you’re simply stuck on one decision or just about life in general, it sucks to feel stuck. I’m not going to pretend to know the answers I just know that based on my own experience and when feeling stuck I’ve noticed there are usually a few reasons why: we just don’t want to make the decision because we’re afraid of making the wrong decision, we aren’t sure of what other possibilities there are for us, or we think that there is something else we should be doing but aren’t. And what these really boil down to are…
Anytime we feel stuck it’s because we haven’t taken time to tune into what it is we really want OR we think that we can’t have what we really want.
Not tuning into and taking time to really know what it is we want will just keep us going in circles because we’ll just keep doing what we think we should instead of what we are really wanting to do and are being called to do. When we get that “stuck” feeling it’s because our inner being is calling out to us to stop doing what we’ve always done. It’s telling us it’s time to change directions. The thing is, we at first feel it as an uneasiness, we start feeling like “I kind of don’t like this job any more”, or “I’m not sure this is the right relationship for me”, or some other little thought that will continue to grow over time.
Once that feeling and those thoughts are big enough, you’ll begin feeling like you need to make a decision but you aren’t sure what to do- you feel stuck. This is it. It’s time for you to tune in and figure out what it is you really want for yourself. What do you want for your life? When you close your eyes and imagine, what does your “dream” life look like and feel like? Anything that does not align to that image should be moved away from. And that doesn’t necessarily happen overnight, but a lot of times it can take years.
I started my first business in 2013. At the time I just knew that I didn’t want to have to be on someone else’s schedule and that I wanted to do work that helped people change they way they perceived themselves and the world. Here it is 8 years later and I still have a day job. In all honestly, it wasn’t until this year (2021), that I really made my business a priority. As the new year was starting and I was setting my goals, I had a realization- whatever I focus on is what grows. All these years I treated my job as my priority. This year I have been focusing on my business more (please show grace here, I’m still practicing not viewing my job as my main source of income) and have made more money than I ever have since 2013.
My point is that once I knew this was my goal- to make my business my priority- then it becomes easier to make decisions- like choosing not to work for my job on the weekend so that I can work on my business and writing instead. And, when the craziness of 2020 happened, like many other companies we were forced to work from home several days a week at my job, but this actually was a blessing because it made me realize that I didn’t want to go back to the office everyday. Truth is I get my work done in 3 days, so the 2 days I work from home, I’m actually just working on my own business, and for my job I’m just responding to emails if they come in. Because I know that I eventually want to only work my own business, I asked my boss that if/when things go back to “normal” (meaning we will be asked to come back to the office full-time), can I stay working from home 2 days a week and she said yes.
All of that was just a long way of saying that not tuning into what it is you really want is what makes it hard to make decisions and/or is what make us feel like we should be doing something else but aren’t.
Sometimes we know what it is we want but begin to feel stuck when hidden deep inside is a feeling or thought that we can’t really have what we want.
You know how I mentioned that I started my first business in 2013? Well, it took me several years to know that actually running and having a successful business was a real possibility for me. See, I had no role models for this in my life. My mother, grandmother, and grandfather (they were who raised me) all worked in restaurants my whole life. I once asked my mom what she wanted to be when she grew up and she said nothing because she always knew she would be a waitress. The people I loved the most and that cared for me were the type of people who went to work when they were told and were off when they were told they could be off. That’s the kind of thinking I was around when it came to work and making money. The only people I knew that seemed to do what they wanted and make money the way they wanted were drug addicts, dealers, and beggars, and I knew that I did NOT want that.
It wasn’t until after I began my journey of self-discovery and self-awareness that I knew I didn’t want to be trapped in someone else’s version of my life. I wanted to live life on my own schedule and I knew that I wanted to help others do the same, that’s when I decided I wanted to start my own business. But even after I knew I wanted to change these things, I had to first begin to find role models because I knew what I wanted but I didn’t know how to do it and still wasn’t sure it was possible for me to actually do it. Like I said, it has taken me 8 years to get where I am because of the belief that “it’s not really possible for me” and this is something I’m still working.
Paul Selig is a channel and the guides that speak through him have said many times that we first have to believe in the possibility in order to know (or do). So in other words, you have to believe something is possible before it can actually be possible. Newton, Einstein, Edison- they all knew that the answer to their questions and what they were trying to accomplish was possible. Their belief in that possibility is what drove them until they discovered what it was they were looking for. Your belief in what is possible for you is what makes everything possible for you, let that be your drive. Once you do this, you will no longer feel stuck.
It’s actually kinda funny to be writing about this topic… I had not idea what to write about today. I didn’t feel stuck, I just wasn’t inspired. So since lately I’ve really been into my tarot and oracle cards, I decided to ask for guidance and draw a card to see what came up.
Before drawing my card, I asked “what is something people are struggling with or need help with right now?”
I used the Wild Unknown Archetype card deck created by Kim Krans. And, I think it may help you to know (especially if you like book definitions of cards) that I use my intuition and not necessarily the book definitions. In this case, I didn’t use the book at all and any similarities between what I’m about to say and the book are simply the Universe’s way of making sure you get the point. I ended up drawing two cards: XXXIII- The Mountain + IX The Hunter (and, yes, this is how they came out- I did not flip them).
Before I end this post, I want to share the message that I received with these cards and why I wrote about feeling stuck…
You’re standing in the mountain so you can’t tell how far you’ve come- Growth (spiritual) + Healing (mentally, emotionally and maybe even physically). When you are stuck and not sure what your next step is use it as an opportunity to reflect on what you’ve been through thus far.
Whether it’s a job, relationship, or your finances, look at the past to see what didn’t work and what did. Reflect on what lit you up and what felt restricting. Use those reflections as a starting point to move forward. Write down/ about your reflections. After you’ve reflected, you will feel invigorated and ready to begin your climb again.
I hope you found this helpful. And if you’re struggling with figuring out what it is you really want check out this post: How to accomplish goals no matter what
You are so blessed.
-Alisha AE